40 Questions

The 40 Questions Of, Attitude, Behaviour, Anonymous.

These questions have not been arranged in any specific order, and are suggested as a guide only. Try answering them as honestly as you can. It is for you to make that decision based on how many questions that you can answer ‘yes’ to, that you may have a problem with your Attitude, Patterns, and Behaviours.

A downloadable version of these questions is available by clicking here.

1. When you get up in the morning to start your day do you feel a miss connection in what you want, and what you want to do for that day, and a slight feeling of not knowing what you want?
2. Do you find that when you ask a question that you want to ask, that it leaves you with a feeling that there is more, and the other person is still not telling you all?
3. Do you only hear what you want to hear, to get what you want, avoiding all the useful and helpful conversation that will tell you that this just may not be a good idea?
4. Does getting what you want throughout your life seem to be at any price and at any cost, financially emotionally mentally and spiritually?
5. Do you treat people as commodities, and acquisitions? in other words so you can get what you want, don’t know who you are, don’t know what you want, but you always seem to want, that little bit more?
6. Do you often find yourself in another crisis, with your head in your hands, saying to yourself; ‘why can’t one thing just go the way that you would want it to go?
7. Can you see, or feel, that your attitude is in some way directly connected to patterns, and behaviours that are totally destructive but are non- negotiable non-inclusive, yet still cannot accept, are unsustainable?
8. No matter what it is that you want, (relationships with anyone, houses cars boats clothes holidays) when you do get it, that nagging feeling lives on, that there is still something missing from your life?
9. Do you ever get a feeling that no matter what you have ever wanted to do, a project or assignment or similar, that it never really went the way that you wanted it to go, and find yourself asking’ at the end of it what was that all about?
10. Can you only see what you want to see to get what you want, for example buying a house or car or anything really, that you may see a good roof but the walls and everything else is just falling apart, or a car where you dip the oil and there is none showing on the stick, but you still hand the money over for it. Then when you have these things you spend the rest of the time trying to get them the way that you want, but always have a feeling that they never feel quite finished?
11. Does your very life seem to hang on you getting what you want, and getting shut of the things that you don’t want, in other words you have to make it happen?
12. Is there a level of feeling anxious in everything that you do; say, or go, or do you have a feeling that you are really alive and living, judge, criticize, and condemn, everyone else that they don’t live like you do?
13. Do you ever have a feeling that no matter what you enter into, (in particular relationships of any kind, but also this could apply to almost anything in your life), that it brings along with it a nagging feeling that does not go away no matter how hard that you try to dismiss it, that tells you, this is just not going to last?
14. Do you have a feeling that no matter what relationship you find yourself in: personal, business, family or other, that people at some time, in time, become totally exasperated with your behaviour?
15. Do you struggle with indecision, a bit of the time some of the time or a lot of the time, with what you want and what you don’t want?
16. When things don’t go the way that you want them to go, does it leave you with a feeling of living with some form of self delusion?
17. When you enter into something that you want, does that bring some level of fear into your life that you are not going to get it, also it is not going to go the way that you want, and they are not going to say what you want to hear ext, and that fear rises to alongside this attitude, triggering hostile behaviour?
18. Do you have a feeling that nothing that you do ever gets finished, so that the next thing can never start?
19. Have you ever had a feeling that in some way, your life has some sort of pattern to it, a pattern of being spent in some form of retreat. In other words leaving you with a feeling of standing still, of not facing, going, or feeling anything?
20. Do you ever find yourself staying in difficult or destructive relationships, and or work environment, where a sort of global warfare can break out at any time, but tell yourself that you are staying here and not going anywhere until you get what you want, and further more If they think that I am going to give them what they want, they are wrong?
21. Does your behaviour fluctuate between passive, or aggressive, with perhaps not a great deal in-between, leaving you with the same fallout from those two behaviours that nothing has changed?
22. Have you ever left a destructive relationship (personal, business, or other), telling yourself after just a short period of time, things will turn out good for me now all that madness is behind me, and things do start to change but not in a way that you wanted. A feeling of unease starts to descend on you, that your life in some way is being turned, upside-down, and that if you ran a business, or worked for an employer, your whole coordination and decision making process goes out of the window, you feel raw, anxious, vulnerable, insecure, and exposed, full of fear that things are closing in on you. And a real desperate feeling that something is not right, that your are really missing something, but keep on telling yourself, over and over, that the relationship was madness, but cannot stem those feelings that your falling apart without it?
23. Do you find yourself, muttering obscenities, and judgmental, and critical, observations of most people places and things that you come across during your day, leaving you with a feeling of missing out on all the good things that they have to offer?
24. Is there a part of you that feels that no matter what it is that you want, when you have got it, for some reason, you end up in some way squeezing the life out of it, buy sort of wanting more
25. When you try to look at your past can you see that you have only ever talked ‘at’ people, rather than ‘to’ them that there is a difference between a demand and a request?
26. When you have given up some form of addictive substances or activities’ (for example alcohol, drugs, food, nicotine, sex, work) and have needed to become a member of a fellowship (A.A/ N.A/ O.A/S.A/S.L.A.A. among others) and you really believe that you belong in that fellowship or fellowships, and you do, but are still left with a feeling of unfinished business, that perhaps, as yet you may not have reached your destination?
27. Do you feel that whatever what you want, no matter what it is, you can find yourself justifying it by telling yourself over and over that it is o.k. you deserve it. For example having a one night stand with someone and casual sex, but just the split second you have reached orgasm, you just want that person to get away from you, that you cannot stand them near you for one second more. That it is almost telling you something, and you have to rid yourself of the message and the messenger?
28. Do you struggle with forgiveness, of both yourself, and others?
29. Can you express your emotions freely, or do you show them in a more physical way like constantly giving and doing things for others?
30. Do you find it difficult to accept criticism, or that you may be wrong?
31. When you do something for someone, can you accept praise, kindness, and thank you without feeling uncomfortable, and perhaps your head half bowed down trying to avoid any form of facial or eye contact?
32. Do you find that when something is not going the way that you want it to, that you can feel yourself with very little common curiosity, acceptance, tolerance, patients, kindness and almost void of any of these, and more fundamental principles of life?
33. Can you accept that you tell yourself, and others lies or if not lies untruths?
34. Are you, or have you been, involved with someone, in a work or personal relationship, that has some sort of mental, emotional or addictive problems, and in some strange deep down way, that on one hand do not want them to get any better, but on the other, you do not want them to get any worse either, a balance of trying to keep them the way that you want them, and if any changes do start to formulate either way, a certain uneasiness’ starts to descend on you?
35. Whenever any unexpected change comes into your life that you have not initiated ore have a feeling of being in control of, do you feel a certain level of fear, anxiousness, and dread come over you?
36. Are you in recovery from some form of substance or activity abuse, (for example: alcohol, drugs, food, nicotine, sex, work), but you are captivated with a feeling that something is still missing. You feel your life in some way is still remains a mystery, that although you have stopped something you feel the same that same feeling is still there, that there is still something missing?
37. Have you ever been attracted to careers or jobs that you now know may have been unsuitable. For example, working with the vulnerable or being in positions of power and authority. That you were attracted to those positions and situations even thought your own life was unmanageable and had very little of the principles’ that would be essential for those particular roles, such as acceptance, tolerance, patients, kindness, ext; That you we were always seemingly trying to do two things at the same time, working at cross purposes, a little like trying to buy a cheap good car, it cannot be done?
38. Have you ever have a feeling of everything being around you, but are unable to feel any or very little meaningful connection to it, but if you carry on with what you are doing, it will come right in the end, but only then to find yourself in another crisis, and asking yourself, how the hell am I going to get myself out of this one, and it never ever crosses your mind to ever ask yourself how you had got into it in the first place?
39. Do you feel deep down that there is another way to live your life, and that it is the opposite too the way that you live it now, but come hell or high water you will carry on and win in the end?
40. If you were asked what the one thing you wanted most in your life would you struggle to give an answer?